T’was the Night Before Christmas (DWC Style)

Santa Claus Measuring Fat BellyT’was the Night Before Christmas (Doctors Wellness Center Style)
By Mary Pat Baldauf, with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the gym;
Not a machine was in use, the lights were all dim.
The towels were folded in the hampers with care;
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The clients were nestled so snug in their beds;
While visions of rest days danced in their heads.
But Paul and the crew, they were there late;
To save dear Santa from an unhealthy fate.

When over on Monckton there arose an uproar;
The staff very quickly ran to the back door.
Away from equipment, the desk and the weights;
The DWC staff couldn’t believe their fates.

The fronds of Palmetto trees danced in the wind;
Kicked up by a sleigh as it turned round the bend.
When, what to all wondering eyes should step out;
A bearded man in red, unhealthy and stout!

With a groan upon standing, a limp then a crick;
They knew in a moment they must help St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles the trainers they came;
And he whistled and he shouted and called them by name.

“Now, Daniel! now, Traci! now, Paul and now Wes;
On, Jarrett! on Melissa! on, Natalie. Don’t rest!
I need an intervention before my big night;
I’m counting on you to make me alright!”

He changed into red sweats, size triple X at least;
And a big green tee shirt that read “Christmas Beast.”
He grabbed training shoes from inside his sleigh;
A sweatband completed his new look for the day.

To get things started, Paul appeared in a dash;
With a heart rate monitor and young trainer, Cash.
They took plenty of vitals and recorded them all;
Then stress tested Santa, who was having a ball.

Daniel freed the nine deer from the reins that did bind;
Fastened Santa to the harness and stood from behind.
He said “I prefer sleds, but your sleigh will do.
Now give me some laps; that’s three sets of two.”

He climbed up the stairs to start working his lats;
And was put through the paces by Melissa and Nat.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his sets,
He lifted and lunged and really gave it his best.

While Santa was training, Traci went to his sleigh,
Her mission? To throw Santa’s junk food away.
Goodbye to the candy, the soda and sweets,
Kale, water and beans were Santa’s new treats!

In a matter of minutes, suddenly Santa was fit;
But studious Wes didn’t believe it one bit!
He said, “Doctors Wellness is great. Really top shelf.
But Santa also used some magic from the elves.”

Not chubby and plump, but still a jolly old elf,
The staff cheered when they saw him, in spite of themselves.
With a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Santa high-fived them all as he tossed out his meds.

When he sprang to the sleigh, the deer sighed in relief;
(It’s easier on hooves to carry a much-lighter chief!)
They heard him exclaim ere he flew out of sight,
Healthy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!


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