c Difficult Days

I spent most of the day Saturday in the Emergency Room. I had what I think were symptoms of c Diff (after all, I’ve gone through it three times in the past four months) but with this occurrence, I had bad stomach pain, dizziness and fainted. Dr. Word wanted to be sure that it was indeed c Diff, so the ER doctor gave my stomach a thorough examination. They were unable to give me a test for the c Diff as I was unable to provide a “specimen.” (And that’s all I’ll say on that!)

The recurrence started Thursday. I missed work Friday, spent Saturday in the ER, slept all day Sunday and today, I am staying home with dizziness until my 2 p.m. appointment with Dr. Graham, the doctor who coiled my aneurysm.

Today I am feeling a little down and defeated, like the wind has been taken out of my sails. I was in bed for four months, and there is so much I want to do yet. I hated missing work and not being able to do my stuff around the house.

I’m also confused. People who have c Diff are giving me advice on how they handle it, but their ways don’t jive with my doctors. I don’t want to doubt my rock solid Dr. Word, yet I don’t want to miss out on what may work to knock out  this evilness.

I also need to find a neuropsychologist here in Columbia. I feel so overwhelmed by everything from c Diff to my near death experience, and I miss having someone to talk to about it. (Dr. Brown at Shepherd was my lifeline there for a while!)

Finally, I’ve been given a second chance at life, now I’m having to be so careful and not “over do it.” Pre-aneurysm, I’d planned on joining some friends for skydiving, and as they plan the trip now, I can’t go; skydiving is on the list of things I can’t do for a while. (Another brain injury could be catastrophic.)

I feel all out of sorts today, and I feel bad even verbalizing this. After all, I AM still alive. I have no right to complain.

 

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