Sheer Frustration! & A Fresh Start

I am so frustrated. I do not like the place where I am.

I took a hard fall onto my already bad hip, and I ended up missing a week at the gym. At the same time, I’ve not been making good food choices. Actually, the choices themselves haven’t been horrible, but the portions have been. And on top of it all, I saw a picture of me in a print dress that made me look upwards of what I weighed three years ago. (220+ for the record.)

Every day, I say to myself that this will be the day I turn it around, and then I either oversleep like I did today or indulge in roasted peanuts that we had at the office for public works week. I waver between using MyFitnessPal to log my food, then becoming too consumed with calories and giving it up.

I’m angry at myself for gaining some weight back. I’m angry that my “skinny” clothes don’t fit. I’m angry that I’m struggling with doing what I know I can do. At times, I feel so bad about myself that I don’t want to see anyone, and I don’t want anyone to see me.

I need a fresh start. And perhaps after this pity party rant and a good night of sleep, I can do just that…

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